


forever. is a four-letter word

by gamblers



Series: pink & grey [1]
Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist
Genre: Dank, Implied/Referenced Blow Jobs, Introspection, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-04-15
Packaged: 2018-10-19 04:11:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10631934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gamblers/pseuds/gamblers
Summary: Honestly, Renzou just wanted Bon to give him up.





	

**Author's Note:**

> set some years in the future. manga spoilers up to ~chapter 69

Five years after he quit all this spy shit he slid back into Ryuuji’s life pretty seamlessly, not like Ryuuji didn’t see it coming, not like Ryuuji even cared. The point was that he came back with his k’rik between his legs and that it was probably meant to be poetic or reasonably uncharacteristic or fuck-him-in-the-ass ironic, but nobody seemed to reach for those easy jokes. Renzou didn’t mind it. He never wanted anybody else's approval anyway.

The first few weeks were solitary squares on his storyboard, and Renzou preferred Ryuuji’s method to that variable of madness.

“I don’t deserve you,” he remembered telling Ryuuji, on one of those earlier nights in Kyoto with nobody around, summer air too thick and miasma-colored for the vowels to crinkle properly in his throat. But he’d wanted to say it anyway, perhaps out of artificial kindness, more likely out of self-preservation. “I don’t deserve anything you’ve given me, ever. Bon, I feel like you’re constantly getting the wrong idea from all of this.”

“Didn’t wanna fuck with you either,” said Ryuuji, and left it at that before kissing Renzou back.

 _But you’re doing it now,_ was all Renzou could think. _You’re fucking with me in every way possible. You frickin' asshole._

__

__

For a former world-class double-agent whose survival had been contingent solely on how well he could fold in his tactical poker game against one world-class terrorist organization and two world-class demonic deities, Renzou had been so, so emotionally vulnerable back then.

“You’re thinking too much again.”

“Oh. Am I?”

But he thought that would do the trick, assuming the archetype of a traitor, deceiving people or bullshitting girls to their face or making them regret that they’d ever dated or friend-zoned him or whatever. He thought that shit would go away when he fell through the shouji screen behind Juuzou at fifteen years old and begged Mephisto to _fuck my life up, please_ , but it never stopped him. 

“Ya, dunno what the hell was wrong with me. I never stopped wanting you.” He could just laugh. He wanted Ryuuji so bad. He'd wanted Ryuuji back then, wanted Ryuuji even more right now. He—

“Shut _up_ ,” Ryuuji growled. His fingertips were softer than his kisses and never lingered too long or too unnecessarily, always kept Renzou’s brain flickered on to his touch, never let him get bored for too long. Maybe that was why he liked Ryuuji so much. The way he was sliding his hand under Renzou’s waistband now, for example. His palm radiated warmth against Renzou’s skin, made Renzou’s breathing tremble and his teeth clench. It was the adrenaline, that was all. They had good chemistry.

No good, he was gonna lose it at this rate. And he does, when Ryuuji’s fingers closed over his cock.

“Did you—ah _fuck_ , did you miss me?”

“Hmm. Did _you_ miss me, Shima?”

“What do you fucking think.”

“You're right, guess this is evidence enough.”

Thing was, Renzou had always pegged Ryuuji as a bigger sucker for Okumura Rin.

People liked Rin better, naturally, and even slotting himself in the same league as Okumura was pretty laughable. OK what the fuck, he’d spoiled everyone for TV but he had Yamantaka’s black flames now, so maybe slightly less laughable. Regardless. People ( _and_ demons, _and_ gods, _and_ angels) remembered Rin for the same reason they never remembered Renzou. Not that Renzou would wanna have it any other way. And that was probably why he’d made such a sexy spy. Their memories of him faded quickly and soured sharply—an element that served critical to his operational success. He was nothing like Okumura Rin, and Ryuuji was better off without his attraction to Renzou. Where was he going with this train of thought again?

Ah, right. The miasma-colored air in Kyoto. Bon casting a barrier over 50 square kilometers of cold unadulterated terror, Koneko-san calling him a billion names for momentarily pussying-out. Small knot of worry that had clipped its way to the lip of his heart. A redundant emotion. How desperate he was to go back to that timeline and undo every shitty crime he’d committed at that point in his storyboard, including when he’d kissed Suguro Ryuuji first, two nights before.

Ryuuji’s head was between Renzou’s knees now. He never had a problem doing this, sucking Renzou off, his familiarity with the motion of it still startling to Renzou but much too exhilarating for Renzou to ever tell him to stop. Fuck. _Ryuuji,_ holy shit _, don’t stop moving your mouth like that, yeah, shit, you like having my dick in your mouth like that don’t you, you fucking bastard, you like choking on my cock that much, huh, suck me off you fucking fuck, do you like how you’ve got me by the balls like this, fucking literally, is that what you want....?_

“OK, alright,” said Ryuuji, when Renzou had finished and he’d finished and they’d both stopped sweating out their respectively terrible thoughts. “I never gave up on you, you know that? Don’t make me fuckin’ say it again.”

“You should’ve.” 

Ryuuji propped himself up on his elbows. “Yeah?”

“For a year I was pretty much a dead man walking to everybody in the True Cross Order, don’t deny it.”

“Nah. You were just a total idiot. Trying to play three different roles in three different places, I could tell it was an elaborate setup for the punchline from the beginning. You fucking edgelord. Bet you were waiting for somebody to pick up on your shitty sense of humor. Tell me, how many triangles did you draw that year?”

“You'll know once I make a YouTube video about it,” Renzou grinned. Somebody finally reached for the easy joke. “Illuminati confirmed, am I right?”


End file.
